In Memory of Pets

Hey everyone, as you can see, I'm new here. I'm Tori and I'm 15 years old.

For my entire life I've had my tabby cat, Reggie. My mother adopted him from the Humane Society before I was even born, and when I was a baby he always followed me around and watched me. He even slept in my stroller. As I got older he still watched over me and shadowed everywhere I went.

In the last couple years his health started to go down hill. His arthritis seized up his back legs and it was difficult for him to move around. He tried his hardest and he got around even though it was tough for him. He used to make a habbit of coming up while my family was watching television and he'd sit up on our laps and snuggle. He was great that way. After his legs seized up so bad that he couldn't make it up the stairs at all, I made a habit of bringing him upstairs while my family was sitting together, and we used to love him up and he enjoyed that so much. He'd purr and purr and you could tell that he was happy.

Everytime he walked, he would raise his tail in the air and we would call him 'the Walking Stick'. I can remember playing 'Blanket Wars' with him when I was a small child. I would wiggle my fingers under a blanket and he'd jump on them hoping to catch them. We both enjoyed it.

We put Reggie down a couple weeks ago because he could barely move at all and he began urinating on the floor because he couldn't make it to the litterbox. He was always such a clean cat so we knew that there was something seriously wrong when he started elimating on the floor.

I'm terribly hurt and I miss Reggie so much. There's no one else who really understands my pain and will listen, so I was hoping that maybe some random internet people might understand. Even if no one reads this it helps to get it out.

The day before we put him down I spent a long time with him, petting him and taking pictures of him. I wanted to make his last full day a special one.

I felt so terrible the day he was put to sleep. He refused to go in his crate, almost like he knew he was being taken to his death and there was nothing he could do about it. That's what hurt me the most; the fact that no matter what he did, there was nothing that could stop this. I keep feeling like if I intervined, he would still be alive.

He sat on my lap in the car on the way to the vets, and he was meowing and very unhappy the entire way. It was all I could do to keep from breaking down the entire time. At the vets I told him that I loved him, that I would never forget him and that I would see him again someday.

All those times I walked past him in the basement without picking him up and loving him when he loved me and comforted me all those years. All those times i could have pet him and played with him but I didn't... i feel like such a terrible person.

Reggie Rabbit words can't express how much I miss you and i know that I'll see you again one day, waiting for me at the end of the rainbow bridge.

I am so sorry for your loss and Reggie is watching over you from the Rainbow bridge. You will see him again, for he will show his presence in your home, and, he will live in your heart, always. We lost our cat, Felix 6 months ago to an inflammation of the liver/gall bladder/pancreas and as you, we managed his pain with medication and diet, but the last three days of his life he struggled hard to stay with us but was in intense pain and after 3 days of cat ICU, we let him go to the Rainbow Bridge and he actually surged with energy, climbed on my lap, and told me he will see us soon....and, sure enough, we felt and saw his presence in our home, and the best gift yet, is that he is back, and is a little kitten which we will be bringing home to us soon. But there remains sadness in our hearts for Felix as we knew him, but room in our hearts for actually 2 kittens we will be getting. You are in my thoughts and my prayers, and please know you did everything you could to give Reggie a wonderful life and he knows it, no doubt in my mind and you will be connecting with him soon. Am glad you came here to this website, for it is filled with caring people who like you and I, lost our beloved pets. Take good care of yourself,

Mary

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Mary Quinn

Thank you so much for your reply, it means a lot to me. I'm very sorry about your Felix, too. It's nice to talk to people who are in a simular situation and who understand.

Hello Tori,

Well Tori, everyone here understand exactly how you are feeling. We have also lost some of our most beloved companions.

I am so please that you have found us here at this site as we welcome people like you, people who love and miss their companion, many unfortunate people have never experienced the amazing unconditional love of a furchild, and will never understand the deep loss. They can be dismissive of such deep feeling and even try to make a person who does have such deep feelings feel bad or silly. If you do encounter such people, know that it is they who should be pittied, as they have not have such a rich and incredible love as you! It is sad if people are like this, but you can always come here and express your feeling with people who do understand...it is a very safe place to do xactly that as we have all been blessed by unconditional love.

I want you to know that I think that you are a lovely person, to have gone to the vets with your Reggie, in what is such a difficult trip, to be there with him, to give him his release was probably amongst the hardest things you will ever do! You are a very giving and lovely person, your Reggie will be so proud of you!

Please know that when you need us, we will be here...

Take care Tori (Reggie will be looking out for you!),

You and your dear tabby boy will be in my thoughts and prayers!

Kerry

Thanks so much for your replies. it means so much to me that there are people out there and who understand what I'm going through. It also just helps talking to people who know me from nobody in comparison to people on messageboards that I frequent. You guys seem to have a lot more sympathy and I'm so thankful that there people like you out there. Words can't express my gratitude.

Kerry your reply was especially thoughtful and I'm so thankful that you'd take the time to write to me. I have encountered people who make me feel silly about being so heartstricken about the loss of a cat. The truth is, that cat has been there for me since the day I was born, and my first day without him was so rough.

I thought that I was prepared for his death but nothing could prepare me for it and I still cry everynight. I cry and pray. I know that he has crossed that rainbow bridge and is now painfree and happy and chasing as many mice as he pleases.

I read somewhere that God gives us pets to borrow, and eventually we have to give them back, and I guess that it's my turn to give Reggie back to God. I know that he'll be at the other end of the bridge waiting for me.

I can't write anymore, I'm crying.

We are all sorry for you and the losss of Reggie, He knows how much you love him and that keeps your bond strong forever. he will be missed by many. And may I just say that you seem very mature to be contacting this very spitritual website seeking support in your time of need. Many blessings...

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Lori Wright

"May God bless and keep you always"

Thank you for your reply, sportysmama. I keep checking back for replies, and whenever I see one it makes my entire day. I read over every reply word by word and words can't express my grattitude. I'm not like a lot of 15 year olds who think that they're too cool for crying and being emotional and stuff, I am extremely sensitive and really look at my animals as my friends. I don't have too many friends in real life, and when Reggie died, it was like losing one of my good friends.

My parents got divorced 5 years ago, and it was extremely traumatic for me. I didn't see my dad for a long time after that, he went off and started a new family with a woman half his age who wanted nothing to do with anything from his 'old family', so my brother and I were pushed out completely. I hurt so badly because of that, the rejection from my father, the built up anger and rage, I used to just lock myself in my room and cry. Reggie was a great comfort for me throught that time because I felt like he experienced it too, you know? He was older than me, and my father was his father, too. He experienced the divorce, he knew what it was like before the divorce. Sometimes I would actually go and talk to him about it, and he'd look like he was listening, and he could keep all my secrets. I didn't want to talk to any people about it, and now that Reggie's gone, I feel like now I have no one to confide in, as stupid as it sounds.

Every single night at about this time I just start to think of him and cry. I miss him so much, and none of my 'friends' really seem to care or to want to listen about it. All I get from them is 'Awwww' and an immeadiate subject change, which is why I'm so thankful that you guys are out there and taking time to listen to and talk to me. You guys are the only ones who really seem to care and you are the only people who I can talk to about this.

Everytime I listen to this song 'Lightning Crashes' by Live, I just start to bawl because it reminds me of my Reggie. I miss him so much....

Can't type anymore, crying again.

Hi Tori,

We are happy to have you here at this website and have experienced similar occurrances with our beloved pets like you--you and Reggie have an eternal bond and friendship and that will last forever and ever...and that is what he is trying to tell you through the song--I am not familiar with the song, but I am a baby boomer (52 yrs old) but I can share with you three songs that Felix and I bond to and give messages to each other, to this day: Photographs and Menories by Jim Croce and One Last Breath by Creed and The End by Earl Grant.

And yes, I too experienced and continue to experience extreme shallowness from folks about the loss of Felix...people can be cruel, and some actually make fun of it behind my back at work! On the good side, the folks here at this website, such as Richard (Stuarts Dad), Kerry (Little Sammys Mum), Cindy (Lakota's Mom), Larry (Baby Dog) and others that post here are genuine loving souls who are connected to this Universe and the Divine Light of Love and over the past 6 months (and yes, I still cry over Felix, I cried last night when I read Larry's poem about growing frail and weak) have been an extreme comfort to me. So welcome to our world and may you be bathed in the white light of healing in your time of need.

Mary

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Mary Quinn

Thank you so much for your reply again. It really put a smile on my face.

I don't understand why people have to be so cruel about it. Making fun of you behind your back is absolutely horrible... I'm so thankful that there are understanding people on this site who can relate to what I'm feeling and not shrug it off and think 'Oh you'll get over it'. My Mum just tells me that time heals all wounds, but that really doesn't make me feel any better. It makes me feel like over time I'll just forget about it and not be saddened by it anymore. I don't think that I'll ever get over it and I definitely won't forget about him.

I just wish that he know how I much I loved and still love him...

I made Reggie a tribute on this site: http://www.in-memory-of-pets.com/person ... p?ID=61228 I was crying like crazy while I wrote it, but it helped get those feelings out and it helped me remember some of the good times we had.

If you just copy and paste this: mms://msent.wmod.llnwd.net/a304/o2-oran ... 243446.wmv into a browser the song comes up that reminds me of Reggie.... I can't listen to it dried eyed.

Yesterday morning my husband woke me up to tell me that our diabetic cat, who we knew was getting sicker, was just about gone. It broke my heart as I watched him laying on the floor dying. By the time my husband picked him up in the blanket with hearts on it that I had put on him, Pumba was already gone. I can't stand it. I look around my house and all I see is where Pumba is supposed to be sleeping. I go to the bathroom hoping he'll come in and rub against me. I fell asleep last night without him on my shoulder. I just don't know how not to cry and to actually think about something else. Pumba has been with me for 11-1/2 years and I still can't imagine another day without him. I miss him so much and want him back.

Lori--I read your reply and went to your tribute for Reggie, it was absolutely beautiful and made me cry too...what a beautiful soul Reggie is...and this is for Pumba's mom--I saw your post and my heart goes out to you....here is our tribute to Felix, peace to you both and you are in my prayers! Mary


http://www.in-memory-of-pets.com/person ... ?ID=58342d

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Mary Quinn

http://www.in-memory-of-pets.com/person ... p?ID=58342

I somehow placed an extra d in the tribute to Felix.

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Mary Quinn

Hi Tori,
I did listen to the song Lightning Crashes and yes, I am familiar with this song, it turns out! And yes, I can see how it can make you think of Reggie. Hope you are doing OK,
Mary

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Mary Quinn

Dear Tori,

I have been thinking about you and your little guy and I wanted to tell you I loved your tribute to him.

I want you to know that your deep and sincere feelings for your Reggie make you a very strong person. Someone, such as yourself, who has such heart, owns their world in a way that people with shut down feelings or a lack of compassion or lack of empathy will never experience.

Reggie and your love for him are a gift of knowledge, of a greater and more preciious thing than many others experience even if they should live to 100, and you have had this since at least the age of 15.

Keep this knowledge in your heart , along with the loving memory of your sweet boy - keep the image of your "Rabbit Face' and his love for you as a guide to just how precious and loveable you are... know you deserve nothing less than love in your life...

By the way - Rabbit Face is just so evocative of your boys face - I feel he had a very clever sweet and gentle soul - and I just know that he is still looking over you.....

as you make decisions in life - ask yourself "what would Reggie think?" & "Would Reggie approve?" and you will find that he will be there as a little answering voice in your head - happy to steer you with his love...

Take care Tori, be happy & have a lovely life - in honour of your boy!

All the best,

Kerry

Kerry and Mary, both of your responses made me cry and I'm so thankful that you took the time to respond and help me through this difficult time. I think that I am doing a little better, I still cry a lot at night time, and just sit looking out my bedroom window and think about Reggie. I just take it one day at a time and a day never passes that I don't think about my angel.

Kerry, your kind words mean so much to me. I do keep an image of him in my mind and I know that I will never erase it. He did have a clever sweet and gentle soul, he was the most gentle animal that I ever owned and I had the most history with him. Oh gawsh, how I miss him. What you said about thinking about what Reggie would do while decision making sounds like a wonderful idea to make him live on in my everyday life.

Mary, Felix was a beautiful cat and I'm so sorry that you lost him. Your tribute was beautiful and it made me cry because it reminds me of how I feel about Reggie.

You guys are wonderful and I'm so thankful that you found me here. If I never discovered this place this would be a much harder time for me, and I would have nobody to confide in.