In Memory of Pets

I have lost one of my 2 cats less than 48hrs ago. I feel so empty and sad.
She was fine the night before she got ill...I patted her and her mate as they lay on my couch on the way to bed. They were purring and washing each other. The next morning, she didnt come for breakfast and I found her huddled under my desk...her eyes moving rapidly side to side and she couldnt walk without falling over and tracking in left circles only. What happened to my girl!? I rushed her to the vet. He said It was something that often had no cause and went away slowly. I was concerned it was a stroke or canned food preservative poisoning but, he said he didnt think so. He gave her meds. I took her home and she got progressively worse over the day. She started rooting (placing her face against us) and her fur changed...I intuitively knew this was it. She became so weak she couldnt pull her legs up under herself to sit. I rushed her in to the emergency after hours vet and he confirmed she had lost her sight sometime since that morning, and the rooting reflex was a bad sign. As he took her temperature, she had a seizure. I knew it was time to make the decision to end her pain. The vet's assistant came in and explained it all, she patted me on the shoulder and said it was the hardest and most loving thing to do. They werent going to give my Gibby back! I said NO! You bring her back to me, I will NOT leave her alone when she needs me most! By then I was ready to knock that woman down to find my Gibby-Girl.
I held her when they injected her and spoke to her the whole time. I knew she couldnt see, but she could hear and smell me. I told her it wouldnt hurt much longer and it was ok to leave. I know she knew she wasnt alone when she left us, but I think she was ready to go. She never took that last shuddering breath...she just left me. My mother says that when animals dont fight for their last breath, it means they are ready to leave and we have made the right decision. I prefer to think she knew she was in a safe and loving place and that she heard me when I said it was ok to go. I held her for almost an hour after. I had the hardest time forcing myself to release her. I put her down gently and covered her with a t-shirt I had brought, kissed her cheek, said goodbye. Then I did the hardest thing ever.
I left her behind.
I left her behind.
I hurt so much for her. I feel like I cant do anything.
I hope this feeling goes away.....someday....

Oh I know how rough that must have been for you. My Raccy died immediately with no warning. He was so playful, so happy, so himself the night before and he had so many seizures the next day. But I didn't know , rushed him to the emergency hospital and he didn't make it through.

It was truly, truly devastating. Please hang in there, honey. You're probably in a lot of shock... come talk to us anytime you need to.

BRenda

http://www.in-memory-of-pets.com/person ... p?ID=59197

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http://www.in-memory-of-pets.com/person ... p?ID=59199

thinking of you at this sad time so sorry to here this devestating news.

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Matty,Butch(Tiny&Gem in our Hearts)

Our thoughts and prayers are with you during this extremely difficult time.

The girl at the vets was right when she said that making the decision to free our beloved pets from their pain was the hardest and most loving decision we can make for our pets. I understand how you are feeling because we just had our second furbaby, Teddy Bear, put to sleep on July 31st. He had hurt his back 3 days before, but the medication that the vet put him on seemed to help him over the weekend, but that fateful day, he re-injured himself, and was in what seemed to be tremendous pain. I could not see him suffer any more than he already had. I hated to see him leave us because he was extremely close to all of us. (We have other dogs, but this guy was just special.) That night and the next day were extremely hard on me because Teddy Bear was always either laying on the bed with me, or on the chair next to where I sat to knit and watch TV. Everywhere I looked, he was gone.

Gibby was able to hear you talk to her until her heart stopped beating and she took her last breath. She was a very special kitty, and she knew how much love you have for her.

It will take awhile to get through the pain that you are going through right now, but as time goes on, the pain will lessen somewhat. If you ever get another kitty to help you through this grief, this new baby will never replace Gabby. It will, though, help to fill the void left by Gabby's passing.

Please remember that Gabby is healthy again and is watching over you and your family from the Rainbow Bridge where she waits very patiently for when it's your time to join her so that she can make your transition easier.

Feel free to come back to visit us here at the site. We all understand how you are feeling, and we are always here to help in any way that we can.

In love and friendship,
Pat and Steve

Thank you all for responding.

I put a picture of Gibby on my desk, made a little shrine.
Today I accidentally made 2 dishes at pet meal time, and after I realized my mistake, my husband came home to find me crying over a stupid dish of catfood.
I told him not to bring home another kitten anytime soon. I'm not sure I could love it like it deserves just yet. Eventually I will welcome another feline soul....but not for a long while.
I feel very raw and I dont know what else to write.

Dear Shan,

I echo everyone's words here on this website and am so sorry for your loss of Giddy. We had to make the same painful decision 6 1/2 months ago when our 10 yr old Somali Cat, Felix, was suffering from his final and fatal attack of triad syndrome--an inflammation of the gall bladder, liver, and pancreas...he spent his last 3 days in cat ICU after I rushed him to the vet, when I found him facing the wall in my closet under my Air Force uniforms...he fought for 3 days, and then we received a call from the vet that they needed to see us about Felix because he was chasing the light...so I went in, and made the decision and Felix crawled on my lap, struck a pose, and thanked me and said goodbye and we will meet soon. We said a prayer, led by the hospital manager, and he passed to the Bridge. It is only now that my husband and I committed to getting 2 kittens from Makanacoon Cattery in VA Beach, and in one weeks time, we meet the kittens...we are excited, but at the same time, nervous, because of Felix's illness and the fact we home hospitalized him for a yr due to his disease. May you find comfort in the thoughts and prayers and lots of loving white light we are sending to you in your time of need. I will share this saying with you that I got from my step mom who lives in England: The sands of time are washed away by the renewing tides of return. May Giddy remain in your heart always and know he is well now and healed and at the Bridge, waiting for the day you two will see one another again. Peace to you,

Mary

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Mary Quinn

Dear Shan,
I am sorry, I meant Gibby not Giddy...I was having difficulty focusing on the screen.

Mary

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Mary Quinn

Thank you for responding, Mary.
I can relate to Felix being found facing the wall like that. I too found Gibby 'stuck' in a corner facing a wall. She could only track in left circles, so if she couldnt go left, she was 'stuck' where she was. It was heartbreaking.
Today was very busy at work, so I didnt have alot of time to think about Gibby except for a few moments here and there. I rec'd her pawprint from the vet yesterday in the mail. Before she was cremated, they pressed her paw onto a copy of the Rainbow Bridge Poem. A reminder, I guess, that She is waiting for me. You can see a light dusting of ink from her snowshoes fur and her 'wrist'. It made me vey sad. I tried to see the print as a wave...like "See ya latah, Mo!' but I still cried. Would you believe Gibby actually called individual people she knew? I was 'Mo', my hubby was 'Ma', my other cat was 'RuhRuhRuh'....and they say cats dont have feelings! ha!
Someone came by with a copy of the local newspaper today. The entire front page was covered top to bottom with little mug shots of all kinds of animals in need of homes from the local (overcrowded) ASPCA. I found myself looking for one that might have looked like Gibby, but there were none. None that even had her colours.
They were cute , but not as cute as my missing Gibby-Girl.

Hi Shan,

I thank you for your reply and understand how you feel about another kitten, that is for sure. In less than a week we are meeting our new kittens (but will bring them home in Oct) and we are still feeling grief over Felix and the year of his illness and then his passing...but we are ready, we think, to accept new new loving feline souls into our lives, and we think it will help us heal somewhat, but, Felix will always be in our hearts and like you, we constructed a memorial along and beside his oak box which contains his ashes. Larry (MissMyPet) sent us a beautiful plaque of Felix, and though it is very awesome, it brings tears to my eyes. We have a light that shines over Felix's memorial, and it is the light of the eternal love and bond we will always have with Felix, and we are going to always have room in our hearts for him as well and will soon have 2 kittens who we will love and adore, only because we are finally ready. The sands of time are washed away by the renewing tides of return. Only you will know when you are ready...it may take some time, but you will know. Peace and blessings to you, and to Gibby.

Mary

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Mary Quinn

Today is the first day I feel like I can breathe. It will be a week tomorrow I lost Gibby. It seems like SO much longer. I managed to speak about Gibby to someone today without feeling like breaking down.
On one hand, I feel relieved I can breathe again, but on the other I feel like I have disgraced Gibby's memory by not feeling more distraught. It's only a week. I'm pretty sure I have cried all the tears I have...for a while at least. I actually chased Tia out of Gibby's sleeping box this afternoon when I found her there...but then I picked her up and put her back. It occurred to me she may be missing Gibby, too. That box would have Gibby's scent in it. For all I know it's comforting to her.
I have been trying to post a few supportive comments to people in the forum. Helping people thru the pain many of us know. It is helping me, I hope it is helping them too.

Thank you everyone.

Hi Shan,

Your poste left me in tears - as I too know the pain of the loss of a very special kitty too.

Don't feel bad about being able to breathe... Gibby will want the people that she loved to start to feel more normal - she wouldn't want you to suffer too much for too long - you will have your good and bad days of course.... tears will come if you need to cry, there are no rules to greif and greiving....

I believe that your little Tia will be greiving and know that furkids of my own have looked for their beloved companions many years after they departed - so help her know she is safe and loved, and she will want to be comforted and to give her blessings of love and comfort in return....

When you are ready - let yourself find a little friend for yourself adn Tia, I have found cat rescue has given me a new focus and much happiness when I was greiving and now even more so as I have some more little fukids to lvoe.

I am thinking of you and praying for you all.

Take care,

Kerry