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Hi Desiree,
We completely understand. we all look at our new, or remaining furkids and wonder if, or how we could possibly cope with such a terrible loss again...
Fear can be such a debilitating emotion.
I suppose, that fear can also give us a sweeter taste of life, everything is more precious when we realise that every single moment is a gift, a fleeting gift as every second is unique of itself and we will never get it back....
I once had a very poor diagnosis from some medical tests that gave me an extremely poor prognosis, in fact a very shortened lifespn - I was scared and feared for my life..... before I got (demanded) a new round of tests done and found that it wasn't what they originally thought... I spent a week writing letters of appreciation, thanks and love to all the people who meant the most to me and without mentioning what had spurred me on to do so, I sent them off....
After a few weeks, I had now results in more ways than one - firstly - I had my health pretty much intact (I just had to recover from an operation and the infection that had sent me into hospital) and the other result was more powerful than I could have imagine was that many of my relationships had changed too....
We rarely tell people how we really feel, or how much they mean to us until too late..... well... I had done it, and although I was initially a little embarresed about pouring my heart out, well... it was a very empowering thing to have let peopel know that they were well loved and cared for - and what started out as a 'one off' has now become a habit for me - I never leave my close friends or family without telling them that I love them - my feelings are never in doubt....
The final outcome from my minor ordeal was that I appreciated life and everything more....
What I am tryine (poorly) to say is that we can only make the most of every person whether human, furry or feathered. Every relationship is special and precious and we all suffer yet survive our losses.... love deeply, let go of the fear - for the knowledge of love, and the loving and the being loved DEEPLY will be the elements that will allow you to endure.
Take care and know that you are in my thoughts and prayers!
Kerry
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