In Memory of Pets

Just over three years ago I was spending the summer at my parents house in France. We all wanted to have a cat for a long time and finally the opportunity came as it was the perfect place for a cat... nothing but fields and nature and lots of wild life. We picked up Charlie from the cat shelter a few days after and he instantly became a part of the family, and not only the family but he quickly made friends with a little black female stray. For a long time I tried to approach the little black cat but she was so scared and looked as if she had been previously abused and beaten, but I didn't give up and within days I was able to get her use to me by playing and giving her food. Within a month she felt at home and would be more then happy to come sit inside, which Charlie loved. We gave this little black beautiful cat the name Shadow as all she did is follow Charlie everywhere, and not long after started to follow me everywhere. 2 years on and she has become my best friend, this amazing cat wouldn't leave my side, she would walk with me everywhere, she would sit outside the shower waiting for me, she was so demanding when it came to attention that she would meow and meow until she was stroked (She loved belly strokes so much that I spent over 6 hours just stroking her) A month ago in April we found out she was pregnant even though we were told she was castrated by the vet, and as there are so many strays and we couldn't take any more cats we decided to spay her. After being spayed things took for the worst, the vet did a terrible job and she bled after for a week, after the bleeding she contacted a skin infection which covered her in ulcers, she also had a hugely infected foot so she had to be kept in. On Saturday 28th May my mum let her outside so she wondered by the pool and lay in the sunshine. That was the last my parents had seen here. She went missing and my parents looked everywhere day after day. I got the call yesterday from my mum telling me Shadow has been killed by car. I have never felt so alone, sad, angry, guilty in my life. I can't believe my best friend has been taken from me. I keep thinking if we didn't make the decision of abortion she would be fine, none of this would have happen. It all seems like a bad dream. I love her more than the world itself, I would do anything for my baby. I feel like I've let her down. I just want to hold her and say sorry, because I'm so sorry all this happen. I pictured her being around in 10 years time, being there for my wedding which I would have had at my parents house. Where we live only 50 cars MAX pass our house every day. It's a small village. I can;t believe someone would have done this to her, driving so recklessly. I don't even want to live myself, I don't know what to do without her. How could someone kill my little baby. I miss her so much. I love you Shadow!!!! I love you so so so much. I will think about you every day for as long as I live. I'm so sorry.

oh sweetie, so sorry for your loss

we do our very best sometimes for our four legged friends but sometimes the universe has another plan

many of us have been in a situation where we can't help but blame ourselves...you are in good company here

a million blessings and light to you as you mourn your sweet friend shadow