On Tuesday 17th April, 2012 at approx 11am my darling Jennie, an elderly german shepherd dog, was helped to The Bridge by the very kind vet Matt at my home. She was laying on the carpeted lounge room floor, I was laying beside her whispering to her and she went peacefully. My heart was/is broken
After the vet and his vet nurse left, my Mum gave me time alone with Jen and then we drove her to the pet crematorium. We picked her ashes up this morning
Jen's system broke down suddenly on Monday
She seemed ok Monday morning, eating her brekkie and I gave her the insulin injection. During the day she wasn't able to get up so she had been doing poos and wees as she was laying down (which I cleaned up). Two weeks previous she had lost most use of her back legs (the vet said probably the adrenal tumour she had, took out most of her calcium in her bones). He suggested I give her 600mg Caltrate D which is a human calcium tablet. That was on the Sunday. The following Friday she was able to get up by herself and walk around. Mum and I were gobsmacked! (The week she couldn't use her back legs I was sleeping on the lounge in case Jen needed to get up I would hear her. I used a soft blanket to drape under her pelvis and hoist her up. I also found by putting her lead holster on (removing the actual lead) I could also use that to help her up and guide her).
So on Monday I just thought she was having a bad day so I continued to help her up using the blanket holster. When I offered her dinner that night, she wasn't interested (rare for Jennie) so I knew she didn't feel well. I gave her half her insulin dose (due to her not eating) and waited hoping she would feel better. She didn't get any better. She was very restless and couldn't relax. At one time I even laid beside her on the floor trying to sooth her. That seemed to work for a while but then she became restless again. I knew from previous experience it was either her liver or kidneys making her unwell. I didn't ring the after hours vet during the night because I was concerned I'd get one of the vets that I don't normally deal with and they wouldn't be of any real help.
I stayed close to Jen all night, turning her over if I felt she was trying to do that (she didn't have the strength to get up at all). If she needed to use her bowel/bladder she did while she laid where she was. I cleaned her up each time. I left a bowl of water beside her and she did drink, but by early morning she wasn't interested. I'd hold the bowl to her mouth but she turned away. I knew then that the time had come to 'let her go'. She was suffering.
My Mum rang the vet surgery as soon as they opened (I was too upset to ring). I was hoping Matt would be on duty as he is the one I most wanted to deal with as Jen 'knew' him. Luckily Matt was there
, they said he was in surgery at that moment but he would be at my house in approx 1 hour.
Matt arrived with his vet nurse and asked me what had happened with Jen and checked her out. I explained it all. I asked "was I doing the right thing letting her go"? and he replied "yes, Jennie is suffering".
I told Matt I wanted to lay beside Jennie when it was time and he allowed that. He had to place the needle in the arm of Jen that was near me but it worked out ok. Matt is very kind and compassionate.
So now Jennie has been reunited with her Daddy, Paul, (my ex husband but he was also my best mate...we were better friends than husband/wife but he sadly died 11th April 2010). Jen has also been reunited with Max and Mr Millie but Paul will have to introduce her to Polly and Waffle as she never knew them.
I even purchased 'wheelchair wheels' for Jen when she wasn't able to use her back legs but they arrived when she was up walking about. The 'wheels' are still in it's box, needing to be put together. I also ordered a back leg hoist that I would replace the blanket with but that hasn't arrived yet. I was thinking I would either sell them on ebay or offer them to a disabled animal centre. Does anyone know of any such centre (I live in Sydney, Australia)?
I know from experience that time will heal my broken heart, it's just now the house feels so 'not right' without Jen and of course I miss her terribly. I still have my pussycat Tinky and she has been comforting me. Tinky was in the house somewhere when Jen went to sleep, but I've also told her that Jennie is now in Heaven. When I had my time alone with Jennie after she passed, Tinky walked passed me, I said to her "say goodbye to Jennie" and then she had a little smell of Jen's ear (she used to play with Jen's ears if Jen was asleep, they fascinated Tinky cause they would move sometimes
) I'm sure animals understand. When I brought Jen's ashes home this morning I placed them on the floor and said to Tinky "say hello to Jen", Tinky walked up to them and had a little smell. Then I placed them on the dresser with Polly, Waffle and Mr Millie's memorial ashes boxes. Mum has Max's ashes in her room.
I saved Jennie's life from my local pound on 13th September 2003 (she went there as a stray, nobody claimed her so she would have been pts). I made the day I took her home her birthday and we celebrated each year. She had been terribly abused with whoever had her before, she was full of fleas and she was a bag of bones, but with my love and patience she blossomed into the most gorgeous loyal doggie
She was still very timid but I was there for her in every way.
So...it's not 'goodbye' to Jen, it's 'see you later' because I know one day I will meet up with her again
In the meantime, I learn to deal with my pain.
I love you my darling Jennie "Boof"
Your Mummy, Suz xxxx
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