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I visited Kodiak's farm

Posted By: Dante' (198.208.6.46 )
Date: Thursday, 17 July 2003, at 12:13 a.m.

I spent a week vacationing in Florida last week, and on the last day of my trip I spent a while visiting the number one reason I went to Florida; the farm where my baby Kodiak was born thirteen years ago.

I had expected much to have changed over the years, as I hadn't been there in almost just as long, for she and I moved to Michigan months after she was born. To my amazment, nearly nothing had changed at all. The property had been under the care of ground's keeper for the last three years (the original owner had passed away, and the family had hired him to look after the house and land). The old horse barn still stood intact where kodi's mom, Maggie, had given birth to the litter of pups that Kodi came from. The barn literally even retained the old smell I had remembered as well. I was floored to the point of almost dropping to one knee. Since the place hadn't been lived in for so long, things looked very old. The horse carosel was severely rusted (when I last saw it, it shined bright), the acerage was overgrown out and around the St. John's river, and it gave of the vibe of times long past. I spent about half an hour there and I cried for most of the time, reminicing and talking to Kodi through the air, as well as her long departed mother Maggie. I thanked Maggie for finding me here so long ago and giving me the most precious gift of my life in Kodi, and I thanked Kodiak once again for being the most important and meaningful thing to ever touch my heart and soul. As I did I looked out onto the horse pasture and remembered Maggie and the puppies running free chasing the Arabian horses around the 30+ acres of the farm which were surrounded by the water of the St. John's, and I stood at the bottom of the old wooden steps which led to the upper deck and front door of the house, where I rememebr Maggie laying protectively at the top when people would come to visit.

As I drove away down the long driveway I glanced back again at the barn, and I had to stop and cry a little longer as I took it all in. It all struck me with such finality that I became overwhelmed in sadness.

I am so happy that I did get to walk the grounds again; it had meant so much to me after losing Kodiak almost exactly one month to the day that I cannot even explain. It was if I was being drawn to it the moment I stepped of the plane one week earlier. I thought I would have had a hard time remembering how to get there, as it is set back quite deep into the woods, but I drove there from 30 miles away as if I had never been away at all. It was so peaceful and beautiful. I had spent many years out there up until the time Kodiak had come to me like an angel from heaven. It was as if she took me right back to it that day.

When I arrived home Saturday evening I went directly to Kodi's ashes which I keep in my