still empty without him
Posted By: sandra stewardson
Date: Thursday, 3 July 2003, at 12:28 a.m.
My brandy left this earth for paradise on Jan 30,2003 and still feel lost empty and lonely without him by my side. I continue my ritual of lighting candles and reflectinf on the memories we shared and grew with together for his 14 years here,and believe me we were blessed to have him in our family but the feelings inside havent even started to dissolve yet and sometimes wish I went also he was my baby and know in my heart he is happy and pain free but being without him tears at my heart every day as we were inseperable for 12 years due to disability and being unable to work. His picture is all over the place in our house and sometimes even feel he is here in spirit anyway but to be able to hold hug and kiss him again is the most undesbribable feelings of missing him the most. Our usual routines of trips in the car and being near him is unbearable at times. He will never be forgotten and will always be loved and missed until that day we can be together again. Brandy brought alot of love joy company and understanding to me and love him with all my heart for this. I'm no where near ready and never will be to bring another into my heart as not much of it is left to tear out, I lost it when he died. I just wanted to thank all of you for writing to me and helping me to deal with this and try to move on which some days isn't easy, but thanks for your help and understanding, and of course this wonderful web-site. Today marks 19 weeks brandy left and he will be missed forever but his memories will stay in my heart forever. I thank god for bringing him into our home and lives :he is and will always be our baby boy brandy stewardson,the best son you could ever ask for. I love you brandy and will never forget you baby
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