Re: My time with Kodi is ending now.
Posted By: Dante'
Date: Saturday, 7 June 2003, at 2:00 a.m.
Thank you all so much again.
Dennis, you especially seem to relate to our situation, as Kodiak and I have been together since I was just about 19 as well. I am now almost 32. She has been through all the trials and tribulations that have meade me the man that I am today. She rode with me in the car at only a few months old from Florida to Michigan, as I cried for over 1000 miles about leaving my friends and home. She kept my spirits going by crawling all over me and even "doing her business" in the back hatch of the 300zx I owned at the time.
Kodiak has been through a multitude of girlfriends and many tmes she healed my broken heart with her special love and affection.
She has been with me through two hard deaths in my family, one of which was just this past January.
She even spent my honeymoon with my wife and I back in 2001. We especailly arranged our trip so that she could be with us the entire time. We spent more time playing with her and taking pictures of her then we did paying attention to one another. That is how it has always been with my Kodiak. She has always come first. Always.
Though I know she has no comprehension of what I must do, and therefore has no fear of death and the unknown, I do, and I fear so greatly of the impending moment when I actually see her and feel her slip away from this world. To realize at that very moment that our adventures together shall be no more, and that my physical affection towards her and from her shall be no more is literally becoming too much to handle.
Although precious, how is it that Life was meant to be this hard? I cannot understand the grand design of such a ludicrous and cruel ending to a Love that by all accounts should last without interuption. I understand the question is redundant and without a solid answer, but the incredible dying feeling I have inside forces the inner rage to scream the question over and over and over.
All out of Love. Isn't it something? I new I would someday face this responsibility from the day I met my Kodi-bear. We all do when we invite them into our lives, and they open their precios little hearts openly to us to cherish. Even so, it doesn't make any of this fair. Nobody should have to be faced with not only losing their child.
I am sorry Dennis for you and your baby. You know that without my saying so, and I am happy that you were able to share your story with me. I will try so hard to draw strength from you and everyone else here. I will need it. Hopefully I can hold it together just long enough to be strong for my girl. After that, I don't care what happens to me. All I need are those few moments in the end.